Thanksgiving is a time to gather with loved ones, share a delicious meal, and reflect on what we’re grateful for. But for job seekers or those in career transitions, the holiday can also bring a side dish of anxiety. Uncle Bob wants to know why you left your last job. Aunt Carol has a suggestion for a career you should consider. And Grandma? She just wants to know why you’re still single.

We get it—these conversations can feel overwhelming. But with the right mindset and a few strategies, you can navigate these well-meaning but awkward career questions without losing your appetite. Here’s how:

1. Prepare Your Talking Points

In many social settings, “So, what do you do for work?” or “How’s work going?” are often go-to icebreakers. While the questions are usually harmless, it can feel overwhelming when you’re in a career transition or not where you’d like to be. It also perpetuates the idea that our jobs are the most important thing about us, which simply isn’t true.

Your career is just one piece of the rich, multifaceted person you are. You are your hobbies, passions, relationships, experiences, and the unique perspective you bring to the world—not just your job title. While work may be an important part of life, it doesn’t define your value or worth as a human being.

When faced with the classic work-centric icebreaker, consider gently shifting the conversation toward something broader:

• “I’m figuring out my next steps professionally, but lately I’ve been spending a lot of time [hobby or interest]. What about you—what’s been exciting in your life lately?”
• “I’ve been reflecting on my career goals, but let’s talk about something fun. What’s the best trip you’ve taken this year?”

This approach shows you’re open to connection but sets a precedent that conversations don’t always have to revolve around careers.

Better Icebreaker Questions

We can all play a part in shifting the focus away from work as the default conversation starter. If you’d like to steer things in a more inclusive and engaging direction, try asking these icebreaker questions instead:

• “What’s something you’re really excited about right now?”
• “Have you read or watched anything interesting lately?”
• “What’s the best meal or dessert you’ve had recently?”
• “What’s a fun memory you have from past Thanksgivings?”
• “If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?”

These questions invite people to share parts of their lives that matter to them—beyond their jobs. And who knows? You might discover a shared passion or learn something new about a relative you’ve known forever.

2. Reframe the Narrative

It’s easy to feel defensive about your career journey, especially if you’re not where you’d like to be yet. But remember: this is your story. Instead of framing your current status as a problem, present it as an exciting chapter in a larger narrative.

For instance, instead of saying, “I still haven’t found anything,” try, “I’m in a really interesting phase right now where I’m getting to explore what’s out there and figure out what aligns with my goals.”

Your confidence in your journey will encourage others to support you rather than question you.

3. Set Boundaries Without Apology

Some questions might feel too personal or intrusive, and that’s okay. You don’t have to answer every inquiry in detail. If someone presses for more information than you’re comfortable sharing, use a polite but firm boundary-setting phrase like:

• “I’m still figuring things out, but I’ll definitely share when I have news!”
• “I appreciate your interest, but I’m taking things one step at a time.”
• “Thanks for asking, but let’s talk about something else—how’s your [hobby/interest] going?”

Remember, you can redirect the conversation to keep it positive and move on to a topic you’re more comfortable discussing.

4. Use Humor to Diffuse Awkwardness

Humor is a powerful tool for defusing tense or awkward situations. If someone makes an overly blunt comment about your career, a lighthearted response can help shift the mood.

Example:

Aunt Carol: “You’ve been job searching for a while now. Have you thought about trying something easier?”

You: “I thought about becoming a professional pie taster, but I hear the competition is fierce!”

Humor shows that you’re not rattled by the question and helps keep the conversation light.

5. Turn the Tables

Thanksgiving conversations are a two-way street. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by questions about your career, shift the focus to the other person. Most people love talking about themselves, and it’s an easy way to take the spotlight off you.

Some conversation starters:

• “How’s work going for you?”
• “What’s been the highlight of your year so far?”
• “What’s a fun tradition you’ve enjoyed this holiday season?”

By showing interest in others, you can steer the discussion away from topics that stress you out.

6. Stay Grateful, Even When It’s Tough

Yes, some comments will come across as nosy or insensitive, but most people aren’t trying to make you feel bad. They’re asking because they care about you and want to connect. While it’s okay to feel annoyed or frustrated, try to focus on their intentions rather than their delivery.

When things get awkward, take a deep breath and remind yourself that Thanksgiving is ultimately about togetherness. Use it as an opportunity to practice patience and gratitude—even if it’s challenging.

7. Have an Exit Strategy

If a conversation becomes too much, it’s okay to excuse yourself. Step outside for some fresh air, help out in the kitchen, or offer to refill drinks. Sometimes, a brief escape can help you reset and return to the table with a clearer head.

8. Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind

The beauty of career journeys is that they’re always evolving. The questions you get this Thanksgiving may feel uncomfortable now, but they won’t define you. A year from now, you might have a new job, a promotion, or a completely different path to share.

Focus on the progress you’ve made, no matter how small it feels. Celebrate the steps you’re taking to create the career you want—and remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different.

Sample Responses for Tricky Questions

Here are a few examples to keep in your back pocket for common scenarios:

Q: “Why don’t you have a job yet?”
A: “I’m being really intentional about finding the right fit. It’s been a great opportunity to reflect on my priorities.”

Q: “Why did you leave your last position?”
A: “It wasn’t the right environment for my long-term growth, so I decided to pivot. It’s been exciting to focus on what’s next.”

Q: “Have you thought about [random suggestion]?”
A: “That’s an interesting idea! I’ll definitely think about it as I explore options.”

Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Navigating career conversations during the holidays can be stressful, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Make time for what makes you feel good—whether that’s sneaking a slice of pie early, catching up with a cousin who always makes you laugh, or taking a post-dinner walk to decompress.

Thanksgiving is about more than awkward questions. It’s a chance to connect, reflect, and enjoy the people (and food) you love. With a little preparation and a positive mindset, you can navigate any conversation that comes your way—and still leave room for dessert.

Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

Need more tips for navigating career challenges or making bold career moves? Explore WeSolv’s resources for MBA candidates and professionals.